Links [[Books Index]] # Book Notes from The Way of the Superior Man. A man's guide to mastering the challenges of women, work and sexual desire. David Deida, 1997 Book in PDF. Google Drive. Tags: #self-development ## Part One. A Man's Way **Be open and in touch with what is happening outside and inside yourself, not closed up.** - "To act as a superior man, a samurai of relationship, you must feel the entire situation with your whole body. A closed body is unable to sense subtle cues and signals, and therefore unable to act with mastery in the situation" Chapter 2. Live with an open heart even if it hurts, page 3 **Know your edge, your limits, be aware of them, there you can lean forward and grow from there. Do not pull back and stay in the comfort zone all the time.** ^88c5a0 - "If you were absolutely fearless, would you be earning a living in exactly the same way as you are?" - "A fearful man who knows he is fearful is far more trustable than a fearful man who isn't aware of his fear. And a fearful man who still leans into his fear, living at this edge and putting his gift out from there, is more trustworthy and more inspirational than a fearful man who hangs back into the comfort zone, unwilling to even experience his fear on a day to day level. A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them". - Chapter 4. Know your real edge and don't fake it, page 6 **Be authentic, be align and coherent with who you are. Be present and live from that source.** - "This source is never changing and always present. It is the constant, silent tone behind and pervading the music of life." - "Use aids to support your relaxation into, and creation from, this source. Read books that remind you of who you are, in truth. Spend time with people who inspire you and reflect the source to you. Meditate, contemplate, or pray daily so that you sleep yourself in the source." -Chapter 5. Always hold to your deepest realization. Page 7 **After hear advises, make your own decisions, don't blame others. When you trust yourself, others will trust you.** - "You should always listen to your woman, and then make your own decision" - "When you deny your deep truth to please your woman, everyone will feel your lack of authenticity." - "This attitude of self-trust engenders others' trust in you" Chapter 6, Never change your mind just to please a woman. Page 9 **Know your life mission. Allocate time for relationships. Do one thing at a time intentionally/purposefully.** - "your mission is your priority. Unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner" - "Time spend with your woman should be time you really want to be with her more than anything else. If you'd rather be doing something else, she'll feel it. Both of you will be dissatisfied" Chapter 7. Your purpose must come before your relationship. Page 11 **Be aware of your discomforts, those are the signs of your edge, and then lean just beyond it to expand your circle of strength. Living on the edge feels alive.** - "if you are stressfully avoiding your fear, you cannot relax into the fearless - "Your fear is the sharpest definition of your self.You should know it. You should feel it virtually constantly. Fear needs to become your friend, so that you are no longer uncomfortable with it rather primary fear shows that you are at your age. Staying with the fear, staying at your age, allows real transformation to occur." - "You are willing to be with what is, Rather than trying to escape it by pulling back from it, or trying to escape it by pushing beyond it into some future goal." - "The capacity to feel this moment, including your fear, without trying to escape it, creates a state of alive and humble spontaneity." - "By leaning just beyond your fear, you challenge your limits compassionately, without trying to escape the feeling of fear itself you step beyond the solid ground of security with an open heart." Chapter 8. Lean just beyond your edge Page 12 **Do all things with your full intention. Do it whole heartedly.** - "A man must know the truth at his core and be willing to give his gifts fully." Chapter 9. Do it for love. **Chose friends who are in the same path of living on the edge. Not mediocrity** ^291e43 - "Your close man friends should be willing to challenge your mediocrity by suggesting a concrete action you can perform that will pop you out of your rut, one way or the other. And you must be willing to offer them your brutal honesty, in the same way, if you are all to grow. Good friend should not tolerate mediocrity in one another. If you are at your age, your men friends should respect that, but not let you off the hook. They should honour your fears, and in love, continue to goad you are beyond them, without pushing you." - "Who is men's friends who themselves are living at your age, facing your fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind love you without protecting you from the necessary confrontation be reality that your live involves." Chapter 10. Enjoy your friends criticism. [[20201104 Daily Velvet Rage Practice Chart]] [[202011060909 Friendship]] **What is my target and purpose in life? If you know it, everything will align. Work and Intimacy will simply be expression of that purpose.** - "The core of your life is your purpose. Everything in your life, from your diet to your career, must be aligned with your purpose if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world." - "But if you don't know your deepest desire, then you can align your life to it. Everything in your life is dissociated from your call." - "Disconnected from your core, You feel weak. This empty feeling will undermine not only your "erection" In the world, but your erections with your woman, too'" - "However, when you know your true purpose, which is your call desire in life, each moment can become a full expressions of your call desire. You are no longer just going through the motions."" - "The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment to work and woman, because he is already full. For him, work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts, and be banished in the bliss of giving." Chapter 11. If you don't know your purpose, discovery, now **Life is like progressing from one level to another level. Live fully each level, then progress to next. How do know you have completed each level?** - "As you open yourself to living at your age, your deepest purpose will slowly begin to make itself known." - "Your life consists of penetrating each circle, from the outside toward the center." - As you dissolve each layer and move towards the center you were more and more be living from your deepest purposes, and then your deepest heart purpose, whatever that is, in every moment. - Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully leave to the point where it becomes empty, boring, and useless. Then it should be discarded, this is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure. - However, there is also the possibility that you have completed your karma in this area; Signs are as follows 1. You suddenly have no interest whatsoever in the project or mission that, just previously, motivate that you highly. 2. You feel surprisingly free of any regrets whatsoever for starting the project or for ending it. 3. Even though you may not have the slightest idea of what you are going to do next, you feel clear, and confuse, and especially unburden. 4. You feel an increase in energy at the prospect of seizing your involvement with the project. 5. The project seems almost silly, like collecting shoelaces or wallpapering your house with gas station receipts. Sure you could do it, but why would you want to? - "Make sure that there are no loose ends and that you do not burden anybody's life by stopping your involvement. At this point you must wait for a vision. You stay open to a vision of your deepest purpose by filling your time with distractions"- Chapter 12. Be willing to change everything in your life. Page 19 **Don't do half-hearted. Be single minded. Focus on your life purpose. Your way of life affect your family.** (Who you are matters what you say) - "You cannot abnegate your deepest purpose to (for family responsibilities) or else you will feel frustrated, Actually resigning yourself to a lesser life than you know you are capable of living. These cells resignation will communicate itself to a woman's and to your children. Your children will challenge your capacity to discipline them, since you can view your own lack of authentic self-discipline. Try as you might. Once you have negated your true deep purpose. Your whole household will become a place where everybody test your capacity to stand your ground, and you will lose" - "Your freedom and true love of the same. However the journey of the masculine and feminine to this unity of love and freedom is very different." - "Many men, however, regardless of how much to love your family, also feel a deeper calling. If they do not leave true to this calling, then they are called weakens, even if they genuinely love and desire to serve your family. When you know your directions and I'll living it fully, your core is alive and strong."Chapter 13. Don't use your family as an excuse Page 21 **Spend short period of quality time is better then long period of distracted time.** - "A short period of time with a father who is absolutely present, fall in love, undivided insight, ensure of his mission in life, will affect your children much more positively then if they spend lots of time with a father who is ambiguous in his intent and has lost touch with his deepest purpose, no matter how much you love his children." - "Children learn most from their parents by osmosis. If the father is sadly weakens and compromise, this will flavored your experience of his love. Your children will unconsciously replicate or react to this emotional tasty absorbed from you. Your essential emotional tone -- at ease in your deepest purpose or fearful in the ambiguity of your intent -- becomes part of your children's home." - It is not the amount of time but the quality of the interaction that most influences a child's growth. Children are exquisitely sensitive to emotional tone. If you are not full in your core, aligned with your deepest purpose and living a life of authentic commitment your children will feel it. - "When you are with your family, you are with them totally, since there is no chronically unfinished business in your life to distract you, and not in the ambiguity about where you want to be or what you really want to be doing." Chapter 13. Don't use your family as an excuse Page 21 **Why do we do what we do? Don't forget bigger picture. No amount of work can add up to love, freedom and full consciousness We are not drones.** ^8acb0e - Man is always doing, in a "do mode", "this "do mode" is one of men's biggest strengths and weakness... but if you forget your larger purpose while pursuing the small and endless tasks of daily life, then you have reduced yourself to a machine of at picayune (insignificant)." - This chapter remind men to consider the spiritual aspect of life, "tasks are important, but no amount of duties adds up to love, freedom, or full consciousness. You cannot do enough, nor can you do the right things, so that you will finally feel complete." - Chapter 14. Don't get lost in tasks and duties - page 23