**How to manage shame?** **Source**: - [[202008191814 How to reduce Shame and Guilt]](evernote:///view/463671/s5/72f3da17-b150-4367-ba6b-7e12733ca3b9/72f3da17-b150-4367-ba6b-7e12733ca3b9/) **Cross Reference** [[Shame and Guilt MOC]] Related: [[Daring Greatly How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead]] --- **What are the steps in Deconstructing Shame? (**Slide 51) 1. Identifying and acknowledging feelings of shame, 2. Understanding the origins of being shamed 3. Recognised the injustice in the shaming process 4. Searching for acts of resistance against the injustice 1. Acts of resistance - What have the person done to counter that injustice? For example, crying about the abuse is a form of protesting! Protesting that what the perpetrator did was wrong, and implicitly implied that the person know they deserve better!) 6. Honouring the self for resisting the injustice 7. Mobilising anger and outrage towards the injustice  8. Using anger to break the silence and disclose the injustice 9. Using resentment to hold offenders accountable 10. Contributing to conditions for an apology 11. Relinquishing resentment thru circumscribed forgiveness 12. Accepting past injustices and moving on.  Different questions to ask for each points here [[Recent developments in Therapeutic Conversation](evernote:///view/463671/s5/d3043261-f391-4223-b5de-a8527bd8c45f/d3043261-f391-4223-b5de-a8527bd8c45f/)]