# 20210209 Systemic Group Supervision 9 Feb 2021 [[09-02-2021]] Source: Group Supervision. Systemic Juliana, Astelle, Jiahui, Sarah, Charlene, Moses [[Systemic Thinking]] #family-therapy [[family_therapy]] #counselling ## Introduction Astelle presented a case of X.Y and her mother (OneNote) A case about family beliefs, social gracccisssus, about role of gender. Reminded me of [[patient albert]] family too. His father is quiet and emotionally not available, and patient is seeking his father. I noticed that at first i had some negative view about the parents, "they are so weak" but as I hear the mother recording, i felt sadden, and as if she's lonely. ## Points from session - Theme of family violence. - Juliana asked "why is the patient bringing up the issue of family violence NOW?" What function does it serve? - Is this a call for safety for herself, for her cousins? - I felt judgmental towards the parents. "how come they are so weak?" ## How long should family session last? Juliana said that - Once you feel that a difference has been introduced, one intent, one interaction added, then we can stop (not more than 2 hours) - Family therapy need to move fast. Therapist take charge. Keep the tempo going. - Need to be active in family therapy. Keep the conversation going, keep the dynamic alive. - Individual therapy can take a slower time; to attune, to feel.. - Family therapy is "in the moment", focus on the process. Less on the content. - Look for **space between members** between "mother and father", father and son, between therapist and each members etc. - Not siding with ANYONE, but siding with the space. - Focus on the intent, and impact of what is being said, and how it's said. In the family, who hears whom? how do people need to speak to be heard? - Children who are not heard, tend to show in behavior. - Not focusing only on patient, but on every family members, and the function it serves. - The intent behind what was said. - Anger #anger - Anger are secondary emotions. What is behind that anger? - e.g When parents show anger, is it out of love/worry/afraid and sense of helplessness of not being able to help their children? - Anger pushes people away. Make you feel in control. - Behind the anger - perhaps people feel lonely, powerless. - We do not want the patient to be alone. Basically, all your client is feeling alone. Be with them. Mental illness - family feel suck, and they do not know what to do, to adjust, adapt to the changes.. there are lots of fear, and anxieties, loss and uncertainty. Essentially, it is a the language and concepts used, that has hidden the needs. [[Wittgenstein and psychotherapy. From Paradox to wonder. John M. Heaton]] [[202011011447 In counseling we are are solving conceptual problems, not real world objects.]] - How come patient doesn't improve? - Change the context. behavior change. - Don't prejudge the problem, or solutions. - [[202102082009 Assumptions may block solutions]] - If it is not working, then back off. - You are only limited by your creativity - "Don't marry the theory, concepts" - [[202011011315 They are more than one way to solve a problem]] - Parents feel very blamed, because children are admitted. Attend to the parents, and they learn to attend to their kids. #parenthood [[Shame and Guilt MOC]] - Remember. Connect with all parties. Reframe. Rephrase on behalf of clients. life giving. - Problems are not located in the person, but in the system. What surfaced now in the client is only the symptom, and it is a reflection of interaction patterns at home. E.g communication problem between mother and daughter, then how is everyone communicating at home? [[202101251954 People have to take on complementary role for any meaningful interaction]] ## My main takeaways - To remember to hear the things unspoken, or unexpressed. The "wish behind the wish", the needs, behind what was spoken. - Often we focus on the content, on what was said, and we get caught up by the language instead of talking about the process. Perhaps related to. [[202011011438 People faces with contradictions and get locked up]]. Something meta about this. - In family sessions, I can act as a filter, reframe-er, emphasize-er, someone to focus, to echo, and transform into life-giving. To facilitate connections between people. - Focus on the process - "How are you mum, feeling, being heard.?" "how did you hear?" "what did you hear?" Who connect with it? - [[psychotherapy]] [[family_therapy]]