[[Book - No bad Parts]] 1. Exiles - 1. Used to be playful, innocent, fun but once wounded, hurt, betray, shamed, it shif them to become frozen in time. They have the power to pull us back into that time with their overwhelming emotions. e.g "I am worthless", "i am unlovable" 2. We try to escape these feelings by locking them away - by abandoning them. We don't feel negative feelings, but we also lose sense of joy, happiness and joy. 3. The parts that we put away are stuck at that time period, and will become hostile to us. 1. We see their influence through re-enactment, counter-transference, reaction formation, projection [[020.100 Psychodynamic Psychotherapy MOC]] 4. The more exiles you have, the more "trigger" you have, thus the more dangerous you feel about the world. 1. The exiles sense worthlessness, thus they make us become drawn to worshipping others, people, spirituality as well, to "save us" 2. Managers 1. Managers are parentified inner children. 2. They become inner critics. 3. Their role is to preempt the triggering of our exiles by controlling, pleasing or disconnecting us. 4. Managers can numb us, our body, cause us to feel drowsy, so we don't feel too much 5. They may not want us to feel good about ourselves, because when we do, we may take more risks and get hurt... so we self-sabotage. 6. Mainly - keep ourselves small, fly under the radar, that will be the safest place to be. 7. Some managers want to feel belonging, thus want to please everyone - socialising 3. Fire Fighters 1. Manager preempt but if that fail then fire-fighters have to put out the fire, even at the cost of health and relationship, to get rid of those feelings is number 1 priority. 2. People could use spiritual practice as a way to escape feelings, to transcend exiles (feelings), 1. That approach is accepted by society, it seems to be a good discipline. However, it may not solve the root cause if practice that way 3. Firefighters like to get high and lose control because if they get happy and high, they are even more distant from exiles. 1. But the exiles will need to create more noise/pain to get attention 4. Firefighters makes us into seeker to look for things to soothe us. To make us feel better, seeking new practises.. 1. "Many people, come to spiritual tradition with lots of exiles because of the intense trauma in their backgrounds, hoping for relief, unfortunately, many spiritualites don't know what to do with people's trauma other then to help them bypass them" 5. Managers are trying to maintain the homeostasis. 1. "Parts won't let them meditate because they don't think opening the heart is a good idea" 1. -- this was interesting to me, because it talks about the unconscious driving behavior. Exiles, Managers all carry Burdens What are burdens? Burden = What script are you carrying? - For example "The world is dangerous, so better stay invisible" [[Feedback Loops]] - There is reinforcing loop. The more trying to not think about it make it harder not to think about it. - The more managers/firefighters try to silence it, the more the exiles will kick up a fuss. - Looking at behavior/action from a systemic view - - What trigger exiles, and what activate managers and firefighters? - Think of them as protector who have spent a life time protecting you from harm/trauma/exiles. Get to know them, consult them first before approaching exiles. - Be sensitive of the client's ecosystem - "The part just needs to be understood, reassured and loved" - Sometimes after a breakthrough, there will be a backlash by protector, because symptoms are activity of parts, they haven't been healed yet" - They could be more than one firefighters, managers that manages a person.