*"Both depend on each other in an unhealthy way"* *One party want to give, and the other take. One over-function, the other under-function. They become enmeshed and lose their identity.* - *"I better be seen as useful, needed in this relationship so that my worth can be validated."* - *"When people need me, that means I am worthy"* - "*When people need me, then I will not be abandoned"* - "*When no one needs me, then I am worthless*" - "*I must save him/her*" Codependency is a dysfunctional relational pattern characterized by excessive reliance on another person for a sense of self-worth, identity, and emotional well-being. It often involves one person (the codependent) enabling and prioritizing the needs of another person (the enabler) to the detriment of their own well-being. ## How does it look like? ## Some key aspects ### Low Self-Esteem - Deriving a sense of worth from the approval and validation of others, difficulty setting boundaries, saying no, and prioritising their own needs. ### Enabling Behaviors - Codependents engage in enabling behaviors that enable the unhealthy or dysfunctional behaviors of the enabler. They may rescue, cover up, or make excuses for the enabler's actions, thereby perpetuating the dysfunctional patterns. Codependents may prioritize the needs of others to the point of neglecting their own well-being. *-- Reminded of Juliana's explanation of this triangle - ![[07 Feb 2022 Systemic Group Supervision#^da8801]] - ![[20220124 Systemic Group Supervision 24 Jan 2022#^77a77f]] ## Lack of Boundaries Codependent individuals struggle with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. They may have difficulty identifying and expressing their own needs and desires, fearing conflict or rejection. They may have a blurred sense of self and prioritize the needs of others over their own, often sacrificing their own happiness and well-being in the process. ## Caretaking and Overresponsibility Codependents often assume excessive responsibility for the emotional well-being, actions, and outcomes of others. They have a strong desire to fix, control, or rescue others, even at the expense of their own well-being. They may take on the role of a caretaker or martyr, constantly seeking to meet the needs of others while neglecting their own. - Over functioning, under-functioning - [[202205120815 Overfunctioning lead to patients underfunctioning]] ## Dependency and Fear of Abandonment Codependents often have a deep fear of abandonment or rejection, which drives their intense need for validation and connection. They may depend heavily on their relationships for a sense of security and may stay in dysfunctional or toxic relationships out of fear of being alone or not being needed.