# Solution Focus on Grief #grief Related to [[How to deal with Grief and Loss]] Source : Training: Working with Grief, Loss and Transition. Solution Focus. Working with Grief, Loss and Transition 25- 26 Nov 2019.  IMH lecture Hall Trainer: Debbie Hogan Solution Focused ## Traditional View of Grief and Loss - Believe therapy is about having a relationship in which the therapist and client go through the process of venting feelings together - Assume that there is something problematic about grieving and loss and that how the person functioning should be changed - Assumes that persons need to be supported through transitional process - Assume that there is some identifiable end to the transition that would tell the therapist and client when it is time to conclude therapy. ## Solution Focused Approach with Grief & Loss - Be respectful of their pain, - Don't push for a "goal" or "solution" unless client is ready - Grief work is often slow and takes time - Need lots of normalizing and validating, listening for their strengths and resources - Coping Questions are very helpful - Listen for what is important to them - values and motivation - Be cautious about "coming to their rescue" or telling them what to do - People are invested in solutions they create - Give affirms and compliments that fit ## Solution focused View - Therapy is about having a conversation in which both therapist and client are constructing what the client will be doing when they know that they are "on track” to grieving in a way that fits best for them - Grieving is a normal process that can last as long as the person determines that they need or want to grieve, - Not about being with the client while they go through the entire process of "working through their feelings of loss - Not about leading a client through prescribed stages to reach goal of "acceptance" ## [[Book - More than Miracles]], The State of the Art of SFBT. de Shazer, Dolan, Korman, Tepper, McCollum, Insoo Kim Berg (Chap 9) ^6344ba Over the years, SFBT has frequently been criticized for how the approach 'deals with emotions and even, sometimes for 'ignoring the emotions." Somehow, some therapists got the idea that the apparent focusing on behavior meant that SFBT 'ignores emotions' or even 'excludes emotions.' This criticism is, of course, based on the traditional ways both philosophy and psychology - and thus psychotherapy - have viewed 'emotions and feelings." The individual is seen to have a special, infallible knowledge of his or her own inner states and forces. The traditional worldview (based in large part on traditional philosophy ond psychology) confuses us and gives us the urge to want to dig deeper and see what lies behind and beneath, to understand the essence of 'feeling better' or 'anger.' [[202112052204 Emotions only makes sense in the context of relations]] *Wittgenstein sees emotions in a very different way. He would point to the context in which an individual experienced the emotion. Thus 'anger' and 'better' involve other people and whatever happened both before and after has something to do with the emotion we felt. Emotions cannot be understood when it is cut off from the context that is its home; doing so makes the emotion mysterious and separate from everyday life. We must do away with all explanation, and description alone must take its place. -Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical lnvestigations [[202009051956 Book Notes from Philosophical Investigation]] #wittgenstein - Page 7 of the note. * ![[Notes from Working with grief 1.pdf]]